nut hugger
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
