A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
