His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
