Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

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(813): View more from Florida

why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?

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(727): View more from Florida

He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach

(630): View more from Illinois

Me toooooo!! Margaritas

(773): View more from Illinois

I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good

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(843): View more from South Carolina

He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs

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(213): View more from California

I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick

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