Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
