i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She announced her abortion via fbk
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
