I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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