that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Please don't give away my fajitas
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize