It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
