You're so nebulous sometimes
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
