Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
