Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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