theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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