Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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