I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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