Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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