Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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