You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
