I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
