i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
