i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
They have beer where we have blood.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
