But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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