he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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