It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize