You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
