I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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