I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
