I cannot find my penis.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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