thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
