hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
