We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
