There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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