I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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