Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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