Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
