You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
