found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
