'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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