She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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