He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
