they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize