Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
