have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.