Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
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Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
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the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.