Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.