Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
