Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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