Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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