hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
