Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
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When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize