I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
