these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
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idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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