Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
