ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
