she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
handjob tips. give me some.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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