kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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