Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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