I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
