i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So much rum. So many feels.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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